OK folks, here it is:
Josh and I are
separated. As in, living separately, in different places. Not together. No
longer a family unit.
To avoid as many awkward conversations and inquisitions and
reprimands as possible, I now present for you, the …
FREQUENTLY ASKED
QUESTIONS ABOUT THE SEPERATION OF LIV AND JOSH
1)
But, WHY? You are so perfect for each other! You
love each other so much!
Yes. We do love each other. Or at
least I would like to think so, in our own imperfect ways. And if you really
believed that we were perfect together, and blissfully happy, and so much in
love, then: GOOD JOB US! We worked hard to contain our drama and keep it from
slopping out all over everybody. But it was messy, and it was ugly. And for every
public proclamation there were a thousand fights. All of our perfect fits were
also our potential competitions. Our mutual brokenness left us unable to heal
each other. But considering we made it three years together, and considering
that we’re both highly opinionated, highly intelligent and unbelievably
stubborn, and considering that three years is a long time to live with anybody,
I’d say we gave it a good go. There aren’t too many people in this world that I
could live with for three years and not kill or be killed. But three years
seems to be enough.
2)
But you can work through it, right? Get help!
Get Counseling!
We did. We’ve been to a couple
different counselors, along with family and friends helping us sort through
some of our issues, and guys, there are a LOT of issues. All of the big ones.
Money, Kids, Jobs, Moving, On and On and On. And we never ever seemed to find
ourselves on the same side of any issue.
After several months, or maybe
years, of failed and increasingly contentious dialogue, it’s time to call it.
3)
Whose fault is it?
Both of ours. We both messed up.
We both failed. Lord willing, we will both grow and learn from this.
For all of our good intentions,
neither of us could fix this one.
4)
Who’s idea was it?
I guess I will have to take credit
for that one. I just couldn’t see going on any further, wasting any more years,
hurting and destroying each other. All six of us were suffering. It was
unhealthy, and it was getting worse every day.
5)
Is there no hope? Is there anything we can do?
As long as there is breath, there
is hope. Right now, my hope is for us to learn to communicate kindly with each
other, married or unmarried. And if you want to do something, we are always
welcoming prayers. Pray for the Best Thing for all six of us. Pray for grace
and kindness between us.
6)
What did you do wrong?
I guess this is the question I ask
myself every day. And I did a lot of things wrong. I didn’t give Josh the
respect that he so desperately needed. I was defensive. I was selfish. I was
independent and stubborn. And if I quit
doing, or start doing, all of those things, I think we are past the point of it
helping. And it has to be a two way street. Because nothing says DANGER like a
one-way street and a semi-truck of emotion careening recklessly out of control.
7)
Will you still be friends? Do you talk?
YES. It is my fervent hope that we
will be friends always. It is my belief that we have given each other years of
our lives and if at all possible we should remain in contact. I understand this
isn’t always a reality, but I would like for it to be, eventually. Plus he’s
kind of a big deal to the kids. And they would miss him a lot if he just
disappeared.
Of course, all of this is one
sided, and please don’t hesitate to get his two cents on the situation. I care
deeply about Josh. He has been a big part of us. But we can’t go on like we
have. So here we are, and it sucks. For all 6 of us. I had a heart to heart
with my kids and I saw how much it hurts them. And I don’t have the words to
say how sorry I am for that hurt. To them, To him. To me. I am sorry that we
couldn’t fix it, and that we couldn’t fake it anymore.
