Life isn't fair.
Of all of the lessons that my parents taught me, including The Best Places to Hide Spanking Spoons, Guaranteed Ways to Get to Watch a Movie, and How To Thoroughly Clean A Bedroom, this is the one that stands out as the most useful and definitely, most often applied: Life Is Not Fair.
You do not get what you deserve in life. You get what you need to become the person you are supposed to be. You get what you want sometimes, if you work hard AND you are lucky. You get things that you definitely DON'T deserve and didn't even know you want sometimes just because Life Isn't Fair. This principle applies both ways, which is something I am thankful for every single day. If life was fair, my life would probably look much different. There's a strong possibility that I wouldn't even exist at all since I am not sure what my parents did so badly in their lives to deserve me. I wouldn't have four gorgeous, healthy, mostly sane children. I wouldn't have a million family members and friends who still speak to me and love me for totally unmerited reasons. I wouldn't have a Man at my beck and call that I drive crazy but is hell bent on taking care of me and my crazy babies.
Bad People have good luck. Good People get the most horrible hands imaginable dealt to them. Innocents suffer and evil people thrive. There is no sense to how and why things happen, but as I watch with frustration the world is upended one town at a time by tragedy and mayhem and sickness of every kind. And all I can do is be thankful that Life Is Not Fair. That I am here, safe, with my family. Happy. In need of nothing. With the liberty to do things that some people can only imagine, whether they are constrained by physical limitations, social, political, philosophical or even mental, I have the capacity to do almost anything I can dream up. I am lucky.
Maybe this talk is all to remind myself that a little bit of pain, or not getting my way every once in awhile, is a ridiculously small amount of trouble in a ridiculously great life. Mostly I think I say these things because I get ticked off when bad things happen to good people and good things happen to bad people and the world gets all turned upside down and backwards. But I have to remember that if life was fair, I would be in a world of hurt. All I can do is try to share my good luck with as many people as I can.
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